it really, really hurts."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"

Why are you late?

A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.

School Jokes

The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"


Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Johnny: "Nothing, sir."
Principal: "Exactly!"

Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb "to ring?"
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Monday?!

I just hate y0u!
Go away..
Why The Hell You Keep Coming Again And Again...
.

.

.

.


.


.


.
Monday?!



Disturbed
Sunday.. =P =D

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

1.
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.

2.
The road to success is always under construction ;-)

3.
In order to get a loan,
you first need to prove that you don't need it :-P

4.
All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married :-P

5.
Once you have bought something,
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate :-D

Enjoy life ! :-)

Government of Australia

Government of Australia has
introduced a new rule
Good looking people should be
thrown out of country!!!
U r safe..
oh! No where should I Hide you???

Someone who can talk

Define A woman....
.
.
.
.
.
Someone who can talk 4 hours while standing at the door .
.
.
but she won't sit ...
Because shes getting late...:

Funny but true fact..

Funny but true fact..
.
.
Relationship between lovers in today's age:-
you can touch each other..
but
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
u cannot touch each other's mobile..!

How About Pillow ?

How Come The Dove
Gets To Be The Peace
Symbol ?

How About Pillow ?

It Has More Feathers,
Than The Dove

And

It Doesn’t Have That
Dangerous Beak … ;->

Banta owned a factory.

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Funny words

Funny words

1=Large State
"Maha-Rastra"

2=Place of Kings
"Raja-Sthan"
.
3=Mr. City
"Shri-Nagar"
.
4=Rhythm of Eyes
"Nayni-Tal"
.
5=Face
"Surat"
.
6=Unmarried Girl.
"Kanya-Kumari"
.
7=No Zip.
"Chen-Nai"
.
8=Come in Evening.
"Aa-Sam"
.
9=Go and Come.
"Go-Aa"
.
10=Answer State.
"Uttar-Pradesh"
.
11=Make Juice.
"Bana-Ras"
.
12=Do Drama.
"Kar-Natak"
.
13=Green Gate.
"Hari-Dwar"
.
Amazing INDIA.

Brain Transplantation

If i need "Brain Transplantation" I will prefer your brain...
don't think that you are a genius..........
i need a brain which is never used before

Keep.....................IN TOUCH

Keep.....................IN TOUCH WIDE ME.....
OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!

Gang of Santa-Banta

Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine...
happily they drink and left
next day headline

~ Braking News ~

"Blood Bank Robbed"

Ek sharabi Ne Doston Ki Dawat Ka Program Banaya

Ek sharabi Ne Doston Ki Dawat Ka
Program Banaya, Aur Apne Hi Ghar
Se Raat Ko Bakra Chori Kiya, Aur
Khoob Dawat Ki,
.
.
Subha Jab Ghar Pahucha To Bakra
Ghar Me hi Tha,
.
.
Biwi Se Pucha:" Bakra Kaha Se
Aya.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
Biwi:" Bakre Ko maro Goli ! Ye
Batao Raat Ko Tum Choron Ki Tarha
KUTTE Ko Kaha Le Kar Gaye
the.. :p :D

If u r stressed

If u r stressed, you'll get pimples..
if u cry,u'll get wrinkles..
So, y don't u smile & get dimples?

A Girl Checks Her Weight

 A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg .
Removes Sandal = 56.
Then Dupatta = 52
Now Coins Finished.......
.
.
.
.
A Boy In A Q Behind Her
Said
Ü Carry On"",
I Have Coins!

Definition of "KISS

Definition of "KISS" from educational point of view... :P
MATHS:
KISS is the shortest distance
between 2 Lips...!
.
.
ECONOMICS:
KISS is that thing 4 which the
DEMAND is always higher than the
SUPPLY...!
.
.
PHYSICS:
KISS is the powerful process of
charging 2 human bodies in a
short time...!
.
.
COMPUTER: KISS is just like a LAN,in which 2
bodies are connected without
any DATA CABLE...!
.
.
.
.
Class Over!